Dunia Sarah

Assalamualaikum wbt

Selesai Asar semalam, saya nekad mahu keluar ke Ashan City. Hendak membeli barang dapur untuk rumah terutamanya beras yang sudah habis. Saya capai beg galas belakang yang jarang saya gunakan itu. Sebenarnya saya hendak ke sana dalam perjalanan balik dari hospital semalam tetapi saya mengalami gastrik dari pagi sehinggalah ke petang.

Saya bertolak kira-kira 20 minit sebelum Maghrib masuk. Saya nekad hendak juga ke sana. Bersiap ala kadar dan terus pergi. Saya membawa beg yang kosong supaya dapat mengisi barang semaksimumnya ke dalam beg galas itu untuk dibawa pulang.

Saya tiba di Ashan City lebih kurang 6.40 pm. Saya bergegas menolak troli mencari barang-barang dapur dan kemudian terus membayarnya di kaunter. Dalam masa sejam, saya berjaya menyudahkan semuanya.

Saya mengisi beg dengan paket-paket beras yang dibeli. Ada 6 paket semuanya. Maksudnya, saya menggalas balik 6 kg beban di belakang saya semalam. Dan di tangan pula, saya menjinjing seplastik besar penuh dengan barang-barang lain. Dalam 5 kg juga beratnya.

Sewaktu keluar dari Ashan, saya melihat jam menunjukkan pukul 7.40 pm. Saya berkata dalam hati, walau berat macam manapun barang saya ni, saya mesti berjalan kaki selajunya dan sampai di metro dalam masa 10 minit. Saya memecut. Tepat 10 minit kemudian, saya sudahpun berada di atas escalator untuk turun ke bawah tanah. Saya berkata lagi, 10 minit dari sekarang, saya mesti sudah sampai ke stesyen metro yang saya tuju.

Tap! Tepat pukul 8 pm, saya sudahpun sampai ke stesyen yang dituju. Ketika berada di atas escalator untuk naik ke permukaan bumi, saya berkata lagi, 10 minit lagi saya mesti dah sampai rumah. Kena jalan laju-laju ni. Nak solat Maghrib. Maka, saya berjalan laju dengan 6 kg beban tergantung di belakang dan 5 kg lagi di tangan.

Dalam perjalanan, saya terfikir, kalau di Malaysia, mustahil saya akan bersusah sebegini sekali. Barang makan boleh dibeli di mana-mana saja. Yang siap di masaklah. Tiada masalah nak kena fikir kena membeli barang dapur dan segalanya. Murah pula tu. Di sini, kena selalu berfikir tentang perbelanjaan dan masa. Kena berjalan jauh dengan barang berat dan macam-macam lagi kesusahannya. Kalau di Malaysia, boleh memandu sendiri untuk pergi membeli barang. Tempat letak kereta dan supermarket tidak jauh seperti jarak rumah dan hypermarket yang saya pergi tadi. Jadi, tiada istilah kena berjalan hampir 1 km untuk membeli barang dapur saja. Kalau malas sangat, di Malaysia, boleh pesan saja pada ayah untuk belikan itu ini.

Macam-macam yang saya fikirkan sewaktu berjalan dari Ashan ke metro. Tapi bila masuk saja metro, kerusi lengang. Saya terus duduk. Tiba-tiba ada orang buta yang berada dalam gerabak itu lalu di hadapan saya untuk meminta sedekah. Ini kali pertama saya bertemu orang buta yang meminta sedekah di dalam metro. Biasanya, orang yang cacat tangan atau kaki saja yang selalu buat begini.

Mata saya mula terkebil-kebil. Menahan air mata sebenarnya. Sesusah-susah hidup saya yang celik dan sihat ni, mengusung barang berat, berjalan jauh ke sana ke mari, saya masih jauh lebih beruntung jika hendak dibandingkan dengan orang buta itu.

Tidak bersyukurkah saya?

Bila sampai saja di rumah, Fareena berkata: KS angkat semua ni sorang-sorang je? KS tu dah lah kecik.

Dalam kepala saya hanya ada satu perkara. Kecil tak bermakna kita lemah. Biar kecil fizikal, asalkan besar semangat.

Hatta yang buta pun boleh teruskan kehidupan dalam serba kegelapan dan meraba-raba mencari arah, inikan kita yang celik dan sihat tubuh badan. Sesungguhnya, Allah itu Maha Mengetahui mengapa diciptakan-Nya kita semua ini dalam saiz kehidupan yang berbeza.

Nota 1: Ketika di KISAS dulu, Cikgu Siti Arpah selalu berpesan agar merajinkan diri bersedekah pada hari Jumaat. Paling kurang, dengan memberi sebiji gula-gula kepada orang lain. Untuk kita, takkan 10 sen atau 1 ruble pun kita tak boleh berikan, kan?

Nota 2: Orang selalu kata saya kecil/rendah. Saya selalu juga terfikir, bila saya berada dalam metro seorang diri, agaknya apa yang orang keliling saya fikirkan. Budak kecik manalah yang berjalan seorang diri ni. Begitukah? Semalam saya jawab soalan Fareena dengan ayat: Act like an adult. Bagi saya, itu yang membezakan seorang budak kecil dengan orang dewasa bersaiz kecil. 😀

Assalamualaikum wbt

Oh. Help me. I miss my blog. I miss the green-orange background. I miss its smell. Eh? I miss its 19 blooming sunflowers. I miss the only Cik Butterfly. Wow. Very precise. 19-1. Eceh. My favorite number! 😎

Since I’ve gained a good book-licking mood (which makes me study till the book drops!), the mood has refrained me from putting even an eye on my blog. And now, my addiction kills my nerve. Hehe. Perhaps, blogging is my second drug that comes after coffee.

Yesterday, Kak Inah shared her chilhood dreams in her entry. Because she is a well known genius, she made it as a tag and I am one of the victims. So, what were my childhood dreams?

1) To cure and kill people with my two hands. Nauzubillahi min zaalik. 😛 Of course, nothing else but to become a doctor. I shared the story of my early days in school here. Highly recommended to read this post in order to get the idea of my primer childhood dream. But promise me, don’t laugh. 😀

2) To visit Kaabah. When I was 9 or 10, my Tok Lebak went for hajj and umrah a few times with her children and sisters. Later, my dad went there too. We were not rich back then. I always dream of going there with my Tok Lebak. I don’t know why. Maybe in my mind as a kid, I looked at her as an experienced person (since she has been there for more than twice). So, she could possibly guide me on how to perform the umrah or hajj. That’s why, one of my plans is to catch a stable economic status by age of 26 and I want to go to Makkah Al-Mukarammah with my parents, my Tok Lebak and Tok Penang. Amin.

3) I want to own a house and set up a mini library in it. Everything was inspired by both my father and mother. They have plenty of book collections at home. The book shelves are congested with books ranging from 70s to the most recent years. First and foremost, I want to upgrade the book keeping system in my house and later, when I have my own house, I want a special room dedicated for book keeping and reading purposes, Insya Allah.

4) I was a fan of Umbrella Band. Ok. Stop laughing. Hehe. One of my dreams was to meet them. Guess what. My dream came true! When I was in standard 5, they came to my town and on my way back from tuition at school, I stopped by at the Dataran Temerloh in front of Pelangi Supermarket (which is no longer there) somewhere at Lurah Semantan. But there’s nothing to proud of. Too lame and lagha to be remembered.

5) To get married right after completing my first degree. I know, this dream won’t come true. 🙂

My dreams were very ordinary. I am an ordinary girl who comes from an ordinary family. Therefore, I never wish for something extraordinary. But if happens that Allah wants to grant me some, I’ll accept them with arms wide open. 😀

Mind to share your childhood dreams? Please do. I would love to read them. 🙂

Note 1: My Google Reader has 100 plus new entries from my dear friends! Will catch them up this weekend. *Looking at the calender thinking what will I have for the weekend*

Note 2: The photo was taken during the ‘radio buruk’ incident in 1991. 😆

The Heart of a Muslim

Looking up at the sky, searching for Allah most High
He rejected the way of worshipping Gods of clay
Prophet Ebrahim knew that Allah was near
And that the heart of a Muslim is sincere

Under the hot burning sun, he declared God is one
Though with stones on his chest, his Imaan would not rest
The Muadhin knew that right would conquer wrong
And the heart of a Muslim must be strong

It’s the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

In our poor meager state, little food on our plate
Mother said she was glad, always sharing what we had
When I asked how can we share what’s not enough
She said the heart of a Muslim’s filled with love

He said its time you should know, you will learn as you grow
That some people around will do what’s bad to bring you down
Father said to be a star that’s shining bright
For the heart of a Muslim does what’s right

So whatever you do, make sure your words are true
Honesty is the best, because life is a test
Even if it hurts so much you want to cry
For the heart of a Muslim does not lie

Note 1: This is the first time ever I posted up just a plain video with lyrics.

Note 2: This is the first time ever I genuinely hope that each of us do learn something from this song.

Assalamualaikum wbt

A few years ago, I first heard this phrase: What doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. It was my dad who wrote it down in the commenting box of my former blog.

Only months after that, I came to realize how familiar that phrase was to me. Apparently, that was the quote that I read in one of the books that I borrowed from the public library in my hometown when I was just 9 or 10.

Within this few days, the quote appears again and again in my head. Hey, what doesn’t kill you, it really makes you stronger!

Stress no more. I am back kicking as usual.

( 94 : 1 – 8 )

Note 1: Thanks to Kak Inah for her inspiring words.

Note 2: Let it be ‘metod’, labu besar’ or even ‘labu kecik’, I know who you are. And I know I’m not mistaken.

Note 3: I’ve warned a few times in this blog. Don’t try to mess around with me. I’m not going to back off just like that. I’m not the old me anymore. I’ve got enough of it in my former blog.

Note 4: If it happened to be that a ghost tried to kill you but failed, would it make you any stronger or phobia? Huhu. 😆

Assalamualaikum wbt

Saya rasa saya sedang mengalami tekanan perasaan. Sudah empat hari begini. Nak ulas pun rasa tak guna. Nak fikir pun sampai dah tak larat nak fikir. Nak luah pun rasa macam sia-sia. Baca Quran banyak-banyak. Teruskan jadi ignorant. Lama-lama nanti eloklah semula.

Hmm. Hadap sajalah buat masa ini. Tinggal tiga bulan lebih saja lagi. Ayat akhir ni bunyinya macam orang yang positif tapi hakikatnya pura-pura untuk tidak mengendahkan keadaan.

Malam tadi saya keluar melarikan diri sekejap. Tapi bukan lari seorang diri. Larikah namanya kalau ditemani? Nampak sangat sedang tertekan. Cakap pun berbelit-belit. Keluar semalam ditemani Wanie dan Diba. Kami mencari dadah. Untuk diri masing-masing. KOPI. Kalau minum sampai dua cawan sekaligus, itu buktinya saya memang sedang tertekan.

Untuk dua tiga hari lagi ni, saya cuma hendak buat apa yang saya rasa hendak buat. Kalau saya hendak tidur dan makan banyak-banyak pun, jangan pertikaikan.  Jangan pandang serong. Saya perlukan ruang untuk memperbetulkan kembali jiwa dan hati. Yang penyek. Yang terabai. Dan yang tersepit ini.

Nota 1: Cepatlah sembuh kembali wahai hati dan jiwa. Semoga kembali tenang dan dapat belajar dengan tekun.

Nota 2: Senyum tak bererti gembira.