The Dying Soul
I’ve been browsing my Neurology notes a few times since I started the holiday. It seems that I am so much into this subject. But I mind you to think otherwise. I didn’t really enjoy Neurology but I admitted that while having this cycle during my 4th year of study, it keeps haunting me like a curse where I ever did wrong in my previous life.
Why do I hate Neurology? Oh. Sorry. I do not hate it but speaking on this matter, I will tell you that I am actually regretting the consequences faced by the patients. I think hard on how could people bear such diseases where they have not been alarmed before? Do you know how do neurologic diseases progress? They progress slowly. The sick body will slowly weaken. And the patients anyhow have to accept it by fate.
The intolerable part of it is when it comes to the degenerative type of diseases. The patients shrink in size. Melt in length. Disable as an invalid people do eventhough the souls are actually healthy and free but are prisoned inside the dying body. If it develops from the bottom, the right leg for instance, then it will progress to the left, raises up to the waist, chest and finally only the eyes that still can blink and the tongue that still can move.
They become fully dependent on others. Even other people have to wipe their behind and help them to urinate. Even worse if they pee on others as they can’t control the urgency anymore. Have we ever imagined to put up ourselves in theirs? How would it be, I mean the feeling, if we have to depend on other people to do our private stuffs? How would it be if we actually have a lot to tell but since the vocal cord doesn’t functoining good anymore, so we just have to keep them to ourselves? And if we are lucky, maybe our fingers are still working to let us jot down what do we feel on papers. The feeling of detachment is wrapping the patients, I reckon. Detachment from the world that left behind, detachment from the people who used to be with before.
So, what is the most important thing to them? Love is the answer, I bet. Love from the family members that endlessly support them throughout the suffer and love from the people around them who are not supposed to leave them because they are sick and dying. If they still can befriend them, support them and take care of them even to the little stuffs like helping them to wipe their running nose or the flutter foods out of their mouth when they choke while eating, this is what we call unconditional love. Money can’t provide you happiness and contentment but love does and empowers you more than that.
Sorry for dragging you all reading such a medical based entry. I’m writing this because I apparently miss my patient who last time I met him, he was still on his own in everything but his steps were weak and the way he held my hands during the check up was weak too. I wonder how has he been at the moment. Anyway, he’s suffering from Spinocerebellar Atrophy. Just like Aya in the movie One Litre Of Tears had.
I thank Allah if he is still alive and surviving right now. And I thank Allah too if he already passed away for not delaying the suffer that he faced while on the earth.
Note 1: I know I am not going to be a Neurologist after all. If I really have to choose, it would be the last on my list. I am still wanting to be a Cardiothoraxic Surgeon, insya Allah. But my Aunties are against me for some reasons…
Note 2: I’ve been working on a project barely 2 months. But what I’ve got in return???
Note 3: Internet still not working at my place!!!
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Hari buat dia:
82) Saya terjumpa nota kecil lama di dalam buku saya yang tertulis dengan ayat ringkas ini: Jangan membazir, yang disertai dengan sedikit kiraan Matematik yang saya tidak ingat lagi untuk apa tujuannya dan nombor telefon seseorang yang saya tidak pasti milik siapa.


