Of The Small Change I Made, It’s Not Awkward At All

Assalamualaikum wbt

I remember I told my husband on Saturday, I wanted to make a small change. Will he be supporting me? Yes, he answered me back. All that he advised me was not to think of what others might think of me because he knows how complicated my mind is, that I tend to think of what others are thinking of me. So complicated, huh. Like, why should I bother? And why should I think of what’s in their mind about me? Yeah. Why bother much, right? That’s me with my complicated brain.

He told me, if I were about to do it, just do it with my full heart. Start kicking the way I wish it to be. Be determined. Okay. This particular line sounded very familiar as that was exactly the line I uttered to him regarding completing his master programs. 2 masters, man. I was the one who kept blabbering “Don’t quit. Be determined”. Now he returned the line back to me. Fine.

As today is the first day of that small change of me in the public, I was a bit nervous. Nervous of people’s acceptance towards me. Eiiii. Why should I bother, right? *marah diri sendiri*

As I parked my car and walked towards my office, I told myself to keep walking. Keep smiling. Keep calm and take it easy. I left home with bless and good luck wish from my husband. I feel happy and contented. So I smiled all the way to the office.

Just about approaching the elevator up to the 8th floor, I suddenly bumped onto my PTs. 3 of them. They were heading to the cafe. They greeted me. I was nervous actually. I did think of what’s in their mind!!! See, I couldn’t rip off that thought in my head.

“Wah, Dr. Sarah. Nampak lain. Nampak macam budak sekolah.” One said.

“Oh yeah? Hehehe.” I giggled

“Memang lain. Tapi kitorang tau Dr masih still sama macam dulu.” Another one added.

“Saya sama je. Lain sikit ni je. Hehe.” I winked to them.

They all laughed.

Oh. I feel relieved. At least, this 1st meeting with the acquaintances made me feel at ease. When the lift door opened, I met another officer. Then a few more officers. They were all my specialists. We greeted each other as usual. No awkward moment. No weird feeling. I feel at ease!

No one seems care much of the new change. I hope it’s a good sign. It can be that they all think it is okay, it is normal, nothing to worry about, nothing is abnormal. It can be that, they just don’t want to comment much on that. Or it can be that they just want to make me feel comfortable and at ease.

And with an open heart, I convince myself that they want to make me feel comfortable and at ease with the new change. I thank them for accepting the new me. I thank them for making me happy with who I am now.

Thank you dear colleagues! Muah ciked!

Oh. What is the new change? Later, okay. Later!



6 Responses to “Of The Small Change I Made, It’s Not Awkward At All”

  1. miss H says on :

    Doc dah berpurdah ke sekarang? πŸ™‚


    Sarah Reply:

    Hehe. Tak lagi. Nak berpurdah, saya kena ubah perangai dulu. Kekekekeke. πŸ˜€


  2. rohani hashim says on :

    As salam Dr. Sarah,

    Rasanya dri mula akk baca blog (dri student hingga sekarang ok je). Mungkin dari malas nak update selalu, berubah ke update twice a week kot…Jgn tinggal blog lelama……


    Sarah Reply:

    Salam Kak Rohani.

    Tu la. Lama dah akak baca blog saya kan. Terima kasih. Sekarang ni makin ada mood nak menulis semula. Sebab saya rasa macam dapat release tension bila menulis. Sejak pindah duduk Putrajaya ni, hidup memang stress memanjang. Huhuhu. So husband saya bagi cadangan. If blogging could help, then menulislah. It does help. Itu yang buat saya rajin nak menulis semula ni. Kekekeke.


  3. Hidayah says on :

    Alhamdulillah KS. Saya rasa saya tahu perubahan apa yg KS buat.

    Saya pernah mengalami detik dan pengalaman yang sama. Cuak, takut dengan persepsi org dan macam-macam lagi. Tapi, lama kelamaan saya dah biasa dengan semua itu.

    Dan terasa selepas perubahan itu diri lebih dihormati walaupun bukan mudah ujian yang mendepan. Semoga KS istiqomah! =)


    Sarah Reply:

    Err… Walau apapun perubahan yang kamu rasa KS buat, tolong doakan KS ye. Hehe.

    Setiap perubahan tu memang memerlukan langkah pertama. Tanpa langkah pertama, selamanya kita rasa tak mampu dan tak layak nak buat.

    Selamat berpuasa Hidayah! πŸ™‚


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